Who are you talking to?

I have been completing a very interesting exercise with myself lately about what sort of conversations do I hold and who am I talking too.

Each day for a week I have written down a list of people I have spoken to, what the conversation was about (positive or negative) and was the conversation going to assist me to move closer or further away from my goals.

I became very enlightened that I had a pattern with some people in my network to look at what was not working in my world. This was not a positive conversation or really even for the purpose of working through a challenge to move forward. So I made a decision and have changed what I talk about, my conversations support my goals.

“Your personal income is directly proportionate to the quality and the level of desire of the people you choose to spend your time working with.”

I believe the statement above to be true. From my experience you need to surround yourself by people that expect the best of you so that you can thrive, not pull you down. The more positive and on purpose people you can be around the better, it will rub off you will start to model their behavior and attitude.

You are in control of who you speak to and certainly what you talk about. If you do not have a positive group of people around you then you will need to seek out people who are. Think about what you want to achieve and seek out a group of people to talk to. Or seek out a mentor. A mentor is a fabulous tool, someone who has walked the path before you and achieved what you desire. I am very fortunate to mentor people daily and also to have a fabulous mentor that has walked the path I desire.

So look at the quality of the people around you, seek out a mentor so you “can stand on the shoulder of those who have gone before you”. Being a mentor once you have achieved your goals is also one of the most rewarding roles there are.

Do you dare to dream?

When was the last time that you allowed yourself to think of what you wanted? What you really wanted. Like you did as a child, you wanted a pony, to become an astronaut or to fly a plane. There was no limit to the dreams and aspirations you held as a child.

Somewhere we stopped dreaming, we stopped allowing ourselves to think of the possibilities or to think we maybe could just have what we wanted.

The truth is you can have whatever you want. It is a choice to create the life you want to lead and to fulfill your dreams. First you need to start dreaming again and allow yourself the idea of possibility.

Once you start dreaming of the possible or even impossible that is when the magic begins. It is then that you have the opportunity to create your dream and turn it into a reality.

“If you can imagine it, you can achieve it; if you can dream it, you can become it.” William Arthur Ward

This is so true if your mind can conceive the idea in the first place this makes it a possibility. Once you have dreamt it the next step is to decide you want it and follow through with the necessary level of action required to bring it into you world, to make it happen.

There is one thing to be aware of when you start dreaming and creating what you want. Watch out for the “dream stealers” . What are dream stealers?

Dream stealers are the thoughts that you have in your own mind that stop you from moving forward. These are the thoughts that you have decided are real for yourself. Things you have heard in your life from others around you. For example – You are not special, you cannot manage money, you are never going to have what you really want. The list goes on and on.

If you choose to buy into these thoughts and beliefs the dream stealers are at action. The power goes to them, not to you. If you choose to hold your own power, your own vision then you will move forward and create what you desire. Choose for yourself, hold your dreams in you vision. You are worth it and you can do it. Go for it.

Are you surviving or thriving?

I have been reading a book called “Poke the Box” by Seth Godin, it is a fascinating read about the changes in today’s society. How we have moved out of the industrial age and what it really takes to survive and thrive in the world today. No longer is it enough to sit idle and wait to be told what to do, no longer is it enough to just meander through life. You may survive in life by doing that but will be far from thriving.

So what does it take to thrive? What is the difference?

The difference between the two is what you choose to do with your life, our role is no longer to fit in and follow the status quo. We are here to make a difference in any way shape or form we can, and we all can!

Do you make a difference or are you just wandering along unaware that you actually have the power to do that, you have the power to make a difference.

I am sure you have had similar times to me, where you have great ideas about starting something, making a difference. But that is all they stay as, ideas in your mind. They are really of no use in there unless you do something with them. Ideas are not going to make a difference until they are implemented and started. It only takes one small step to start.

There are so many reasons we do not start, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of breaking the rules, I do not know how etc etc etc. The list really goes on. How do you think we actually learn, we learn through attempting, through doing? If we fail that is ok, we know we started and we know we can learn something, modify our attempt and go again.

If the goal is important enough to you why would you give up on it? Sometimes we can go into analysis paralysis where we look at every angle, every piece of advice, ask all the possible questions we can. It is important to do your due diligence, but at the end of the day the true learning is in the starting and doing. We cannot truly learn how to succeed in what we want by just talking to people, we actually have to work it out for ourselves.

We have to be willing to fail. So go out and start something, even if it is small. Answer the phone differently; help someone you see in need. Anything, just start to get into the habit of starting, and enjoy the results.

Are you just making life hard for the sake of it?

I was at the gym for training today and was fascinated by what I was observing. There are people that train with ease and flow and there are people that train and make the whole experience look difficult and hard.

I train in Olympic weightlifting. This is a sport that is challenging at the best of times and in general goes against one’s natural instinct. It is not often that we throw a very heavy bar above our head and the jump underneath it whilst it is crashing down on us; all in an orderly and speedy fashion so we can complete a successful lift and not get crushed. It kind of goes against the basics of survival.

So bearing all that in mind, training can be made a whole lot harder if all you do is struggle against the bar and the weights and fight the lift. Surprisingly the more you stay relaxed, and flow at speed with the lift the lighter and easier it is. I have had session where 35 kilograms has felt heavier than 75 kilograms and for no other reason that I made 75 easy and was relaxed about it, rather than fought the lift.

When you make things so hard that you squeeze the enjoyment out of it, then you need to consider why you are doing it. Are you just looking for reasons to beat yourself up and make yourself feel bad for not succeeding?

Now do not get me wrong, I train hard and I am very committed and determined in my training. But I choose not to make it hard and there is a very big difference. To me it is just like doing what it takes to succeed but not resisting the experience or the growth that comes with it as a result.

I believe that how you do one thing can often reflect in how you do other things. So I wonder how the ladies I train with are resisting life, how are they making things harder than they need to be and look for the struggle rather than do what needs to be done in a relaxed way, grow, let go and enjoy the process.

In training and in life there are always going to be things that challenge us, that we need to dig deep within ourselves to achieve. But it is a choice to make it hard and a fight against the goal or to make it a journey and an experience.

You choose!

Why rejection can change your life!

Sylvester Satllone got over 200 rejections from film companies and was then offered $100k for the script as long as he was not in the movie; and he rejected the offer. At that point he had no money at all just a script, an idea, a dream. If he had given up then we would have never had the pleasure of watching Rocky.

I was having a fascinating conversation with a lady this week about giving up on her goals. She had faced her first few hurdles and was deciding if she should quit. Quitting was one option, but if she quit where did her dream go? It disappeared.

She had got into a phase of looking at all the things that were not working for her, and was focused on the rejections she was getting. What she does not realise is that every no is one step closer to a yes? If she quit, all she was really doing to herself was to reject herself, reject her ability to grow and to reject her dreams.

Is rejection really that scary that we would be willing to give up everything we want for it? I do not believe so, yes it can be uncomfortable. But rejection causes us to grow as people (if we choose to learn the lesson). If we valued rejection as an opportunity to grow and a sign that we were getting even closer to our goal how would we then feel about rejection, we would look for it as a sign of success rather than a sign of failure.

When we set a goal for ourselves that is out of our current reach, we need to grow as people and in mindset to achieve it. If we did not we would already have achieved it. A much better question to ask oneself rather than; what is not working with this? and why is it not working for me?. Is to ask yourself; What do I need to do to achieve my goal? Who do I need to become? How can I tackle this?

So many great people have gone before us that have refused to let rejection get in the way of their passion and goals and we are in a better world because of it. Hold onto your vision, you are worth it.