Are you just making life hard for the sake of it?

I was at the gym for training today and was fascinated by what I was observing. There are people that train with ease and flow and there are people that train and make the whole experience look difficult and hard.

I train in Olympic weightlifting. This is a sport that is challenging at the best of times and in general goes against one’s natural instinct. It is not often that we throw a very heavy bar above our head and the jump underneath it whilst it is crashing down on us; all in an orderly and speedy fashion so we can complete a successful lift and not get crushed. It kind of goes against the basics of survival.

So bearing all that in mind, training can be made a whole lot harder if all you do is struggle against the bar and the weights and fight the lift. Surprisingly the more you stay relaxed, and flow at speed with the lift the lighter and easier it is. I have had session where 35 kilograms has felt heavier than 75 kilograms and for no other reason that I made 75 easy and was relaxed about it, rather than fought the lift.

When you make things so hard that you squeeze the enjoyment out of it, then you need to consider why you are doing it. Are you just looking for reasons to beat yourself up and make yourself feel bad for not succeeding?

Now do not get me wrong, I train hard and I am very committed and determined in my training. But I choose not to make it hard and there is a very big difference. To me it is just like doing what it takes to succeed but not resisting the experience or the growth that comes with it as a result.

I believe that how you do one thing can often reflect in how you do other things. So I wonder how the ladies I train with are resisting life, how are they making things harder than they need to be and look for the struggle rather than do what needs to be done in a relaxed way, grow, let go and enjoy the process.

In training and in life there are always going to be things that challenge us, that we need to dig deep within ourselves to achieve. But it is a choice to make it hard and a fight against the goal or to make it a journey and an experience.

You choose!

Why rejection can change your life!

Sylvester Satllone got over 200 rejections from film companies and was then offered $100k for the script as long as he was not in the movie; and he rejected the offer. At that point he had no money at all just a script, an idea, a dream. If he had given up then we would have never had the pleasure of watching Rocky.

I was having a fascinating conversation with a lady this week about giving up on her goals. She had faced her first few hurdles and was deciding if she should quit. Quitting was one option, but if she quit where did her dream go? It disappeared.

She had got into a phase of looking at all the things that were not working for her, and was focused on the rejections she was getting. What she does not realise is that every no is one step closer to a yes? If she quit, all she was really doing to herself was to reject herself, reject her ability to grow and to reject her dreams.

Is rejection really that scary that we would be willing to give up everything we want for it? I do not believe so, yes it can be uncomfortable. But rejection causes us to grow as people (if we choose to learn the lesson). If we valued rejection as an opportunity to grow and a sign that we were getting even closer to our goal how would we then feel about rejection, we would look for it as a sign of success rather than a sign of failure.

When we set a goal for ourselves that is out of our current reach, we need to grow as people and in mindset to achieve it. If we did not we would already have achieved it. A much better question to ask oneself rather than; what is not working with this? and why is it not working for me?. Is to ask yourself; What do I need to do to achieve my goal? Who do I need to become? How can I tackle this?

So many great people have gone before us that have refused to let rejection get in the way of their passion and goals and we are in a better world because of it. Hold onto your vision, you are worth it.

How do you get Motivated?

So what motivates someone, and how do we actually get motivated. We can all get excited by something, but that does not always last. Motivation needs to be sustainable, so what is motivation and how do we get it?

The basic definition of motivation is “the general desire or willingness of someone to do something”. This is a great basic definition that tells us that motivation is about being in motion, taking action and having a motive or purpose.

So some of the fundamental parts are to know what you actually want and also how to get it. As individuals we tend to be more motivated to take the action steps required for success if we know how to obtain success. If we actually have the rules of life or an organization it is easier to follow a system to success. We then also have a measure for our success. If we are unclear in what we want and are also unclear in how to get it, we often just get lack of clarity and lack of results.

If we think about it in simple terms, a child that has no boundaries or routine can often have problems with self esteem and confidence as they are unclear on how to succeed in their world.

Another aspect of motivation is a person’s ability to actually experience and face life or a situation. If a person feels they are unable to deal with problems or a task they can often end up procrastinating or avoiding it all together. That problem does not go away and often becomes more of a problem to be dealt with later. If we can skill ourselves and be willing to learn how to deal with situation and tasks in the moment our feeling of accomplishment and empowerment increase. As a result our motivation increases.

These are just a few basic components that influence motivation. So if you are looking to be more motivated or have sustained motivation you will need to face life and it’s issues and overcome them. Also understand what you want, why you want it and have a plan or system in place for how to achieve it so you can actually measure your success.

Are you acting like a big bottle of insect repellent?

I was having a conversation with a lady today about her business. She started a business for her daughter to provide a service to University students, so they could afford to have nice things on her student income. What was fascinating was that when they put the business on facebook, it took off and has grown exponentially.

There were a few key points that she made about her business success that I believe from my experience apply to success on any level.

The keys that she gave away were – that she did not “need” the money, and that she had a greater purpose for the business. At first the purpose was to help students and now it has transformed to assist people with micro finance loans. The third thing was she was passionate and believed in what she was doing and offering.

Ok great you may say, what can we actually take from this? You may say to yourself so this lady was rich and not like me. This may be true and there are a few reasons for that. Desperation repels results.

The key reasons that the success flowed so easily to her was and also could flow to you are – she was doing what she loved, she was not chasing money. She was allowing herself the time to succeed; she had the desire without the desperation. She was passionate about what she offered; these are all very attractive traits. Therefore she attracted success.

The other point was that she had a WHY or reason for doing her business greater than just herself. The bigger your why, the more drive you have and the more the universe align with what you want.

So what can you take from this – Do what it takes so that you are in a place where you are not desperate for something to work.

Find out your why and grow it to be bigger than yourself.

Find something you can be passionate about and believe in.

The more you apply these principles the more success you can have. Enjoy the journey; allow yourself the best chance of success and abundance. You deserve it!

Do you take pride in yourself, your appearance and your thoughts?

I have recently had the pleasure of clearing out my wardrobe and I am at the beginning of starting a fresh. This has been an interesting journey of reinventing me, and thinking about what perception do I want to put out into the world, how do I want to represent myself and what clothes speak me.

I used to think that the way we dressed did not matter, however this is not true. What we put on and the way we dress can most definitely have an impact on the way we feel.

When we where bright colors we can feel happier, when we wear clothes that make us look a way we do not like, we feel uncomfortable or down.

We all have a choice of how we represent ourselves in the world, and how we want to be perceived. We also have the power to make ourselves feel better by dressing with respect for ourselves. What I understand now is, that it is a form of respect to myself to dress well.

Are you willing to dress to make yourself feel good, are you willing to think about the clothes you put on each day and the statement you are making.

If you are truly to BE the person you want to BE, then the best way to do that is in every aspect. To change your thinking and also to change your dress.

A great question to ask yourself each day is “How would the person I want to be, do what I am about to do”? (so how would they dress, how would they get out of bed in the morning?)